I recently discovered (in July) my fiancé had been cheating on me. This was extremely hurtful since we had been together for almost four years, he proposed, he was my first (and only), and of course I love him. I was angry with him for betraying me given our past histories (long and sordid), and the fact that he chose to involve himself with a lesser woman. I know that must sound like bitterness on my part, but it's really just observation. A woman who at her best has her children removed from her care by the state is no woman to me. I realize that is just my opinion but it is strong. Motherhood is one of the greatest gifts a woman has and to neglect or abuse her own flesh is as distasteful a thing as one can do. In my opinion.
But all that aside, after learning all this, I forgave him. Understanding that forgiveness is not reconciliation, or acceptance, or pardoning. I forgave him because forgiveness is something you do for yourself. I didn't like feeling angry and vengeful, that's not me. I chose to love freely despite what another may do to me. Mind you loving someone is a one person task. I can love you unto my death whether you care or not, but a loving relationship takes two. So I told him I forgave him, there's no ill will, he made a mistake like we all do. I will always love who he is, but what he did was unacceptable and we needed to go our separate ways.
Of course he was unhappy and I’m sorry he created a situation that brought about the end of our relationship, but there is nothing I can do about that. The past is the past. I did learn some very valuable lessons from the whole ordeal thought, that I am grateful for. I’m glad I have been able to move on so reasonably. I know some who do not take things of this nature quite so well.
September 28 2006
But all that aside, after learning all this, I forgave him. Understanding that forgiveness is not reconciliation, or acceptance, or pardoning. I forgave him because forgiveness is something you do for yourself. I didn't like feeling angry and vengeful, that's not me. I chose to love freely despite what another may do to me. Mind you loving someone is a one person task. I can love you unto my death whether you care or not, but a loving relationship takes two. So I told him I forgave him, there's no ill will, he made a mistake like we all do. I will always love who he is, but what he did was unacceptable and we needed to go our separate ways.
Of course he was unhappy and I’m sorry he created a situation that brought about the end of our relationship, but there is nothing I can do about that. The past is the past. I did learn some very valuable lessons from the whole ordeal thought, that I am grateful for. I’m glad I have been able to move on so reasonably. I know some who do not take things of this nature quite so well.
September 28 2006
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