I get so annoyed at the double standard women have created for themselves. I consider myself a feminist. I believe in the ideas behind the feminist movement though not necessarily the methods and augmented variations. I believe women should be able to choose their destinies and desires and should be held in the same regarded as their male counterparts, professionally, economically, spiritually, etc.
However, I hate to hear so called "feminists" say to other women "Oh you're just a stay at home mom? Didn't you want to do anything with your life?" Why is it that we can work so hard for the right to choose the lives we want to live then turn around and look down on fellow women for the lives they've chosen?
I choose to one day be a wife and mother. I choose that, and I'm not some "poor little thing who doesn't know any better", or a fundamentalist bible thumper. It's not that I haven't gained an education, or that I have no ambition, or that I'm lazy and want some man to take care of me. I choose to be a wife and mother because that is what I love, that is where my goals and heart lie, and it is my right. Some women from a young age dream of being teachers, or psychologists, or scientists, I dreamt of being a homemaker. The best damned homemaker physically possible.
When I see my life I'm the foundation of my family. I care for my household and my loved ones, and I do it well. I just hate to hear people say that it is an unworthy or unnecessary duty. Why is it working women can not see the use, the drive, the beauty in a homemaker? I mean I celebrate and appreciate women who work in the corporate arena. They are great and powerful women worthy of praise, and so are homemakers.
I certainly do not hold that all homemakers are great and hard working women. There are those who are lazy sitting around in their sweats watch their "stories" but you find that same kind of lazy individual in many work settings. Ms. "never finishes her projects on time", and Mr. "pass the buck" can be found anywhere; in the corporate elite, the suburban masses, the poverty choked homeless.
When I see my home it is a beautiful place of rest and love. A haven from the world. My children come home to a spotless house, my husband comes home to dinner waiting. I keep my "home management binder" absolutely stuffed so that my home stays immaculate and running like clockwork. I work no less than any 9-5 cubical drone. Most of the time more since there's no "quitting time". And yet I get the pity sigh when I say what I want to do with my life. Why is there pity for those wanting to raise and maintain healthy happy families?
Aside from just loving the life, I have real reasons for wanting to live this way. For starters I don't want a traditional career, I do want a large family. The twenties and early thirties for most women, are used to establish careers, and since I'm trying to establish a home this would be the time for me to start. It only seems young to those who must wait until their careers are already established. The average age of first conception is constantly on the rise. However, ones chances for developing pregnancy complications begins to dramatically increase after 35. Many older women have uneventful pregnancies but I don't want to risk it if I don't have to. Besides I'm not really interested in beginning my motherhood in my 40's. The chances for developing breast cancer dramatically increase if you have you first child after 30, so if there's anything I can do to lessen the potential risk I will. Women are more fertile in their youth. And of course have more energy for baby chasing and what not in the younger age ranges.
I'm just amazed at the mentality that says "because I process paperwork or merge companies for a living, my life choices are inherantly better than yours, so much so that I pity your lack of judgement for surely you regret your life." I'm a woman who knows what she wants and will work hard to get it and won't let anything stand in her way including stupid smug people with superiority complexes.
I AM A MOTHER IN TRAINING HEAR ME ROAR.
I AM A MOTHER IN TRAINING HEAR ME ROAR.