I've been thinking a lot lately about poly relationships and why exactly they are illegal. I mean it seems to me that the only reason polygamous marriages would be wrong is that certain religious groups disagree. But why does that matter? Isn't the US government supposed to be secular? Why if I being a consenting informed adult wanted to, could I not share my home with two other consenting adults? I mean really? I am not saying everyone should do this or even that I would I just mean intellectually why not? Why do we condemn and imprison those who would choose that for themselves? Why is that anyone's business but theirs especially the government?
Of course some will say some poly relationships in the past have been abusive and controlling and that's why they're dangerous but it seems to me so are many nuclear relationships. Didn't we just get out of an era where beating your wife was accepted at best and your business at worst. Abuse and control in any relationship is bad, but you can find abusive relationships with any number of people.
Of course we are talking about a relationship in which both parties are consenting and informed. Bigamy is not included obviously. Secret wives or husbands, is not acceptable simply due to the deceit factor and of course forcing a spouse into sharing when they are not agreeable to it is wrong. But if I know you have a wife, who also knows of me and we all agree that becoming a working loving unit is desirable for all of us why not?
I mean if we're going to start just enforcing religious rules on people why not make it illegal to eat pork, or not observe the daily prayers, or make it illegal to work on Sundays. I mean that's a Christian commandment isn't it? We should definitely take that into account that's worse than having a second wife. Everyone wants to pick and choose what religious rules get to be secular rules without any rationale. I mean why isn't adultery illegal? That's prevalent and harmful to society. I mean you might be able to make a social case for making adultery illegal.
I just don't get it, every poly family I've ever known has been some of the best working units of family I've seen. They are essentially their own kind of cooperative. There's always child care available. The parents are less stressed since when they need that break there's someone to pick up their load. There's often more financial stability when multiple partners work. They are less likely to cheat on one another since there's built in variety. It's just all around easier with six hands in one household than four. There is always a caring trusted adult to help in raising the children.
I can remember some time ago my family took in a friend from our church. She was a young woman who had a child and she stayed with us for a few months til she got back on her feet. It was not nearly that kind of unit but just the extra eyes and hands made everything run smoothly. Her child was always looked after even when she needed some alone time, the cleaning always got done by someone, all in all everything was easier. I just think about that in the context of a loving partnership.
I sometimes hear divorced parent say to their children when they get remarried that it's not the loss of mommy and daddy it's that they gain another mommy or daddy. You have three parents to love and care for you. That's wonderful, especially if it's an in home working loving unit.
Now I've said all this and one might think I'm in a poly relationship but I'm not. I'm not even sure that is something I would ever want for myself, I just don't see why we punish those who seek that. I mean it's illegal for goodness sake, that's ridiculous, they didn't kill anyone or steal anything. They just devoted themselves to two people. ~o.w. yahoo 360 2006
No comments:
Post a Comment